Can you say...emotional rollercoaster?

Boy has this past week or month shall I say, been very emotionally draining well physically too. But most recently this past week has been very stressful mainly with the deterioating health of our beloved dog, Sierra Jane. She has been fighting cancer for a few months now and this week it really took a toll on her and finally today after a very long, stressful, emotional and physically draining weekend we knew it was time and called the vet as soon as they opened. As Brad left for work Chase looked at Sierra and said "Bye bye Janie." So sweet and we both cried.

Not only were Brad and I emotionally drained from the past week of the inevitable that we knew was coming but also this past Saturday evening we were BOTH hit with the stomach bug. Not once in the 14 years we've been together have we ever "shared" sickness. It started first with Brad around 8:30 pm on Saturday night and we just thought he ate something bad and then around 3 am I woke up and joined him. I am thankful for two bathrooms and that during all the walking and flushing Chase stayed sound asleep. Unfortunatley for Brad though he had to clean up Sierra's messes everytime he was up, her last few days with us were not good.

First thing when we woke up on Sunday, because Chase woke us up, I called my mom at 7:45am and asked if she could come get him. There was no way that we could care for a lively 19 month old in our state. She arrived 15 minutes later, got Chase out of his crib, put on his snowsuit and off he went. He had know idea what was going on. Mom looked at me and asked if I was even pregnant. I had lost so much that you would have never known I was 20 weeks pregnant or pregnant at all for that matter. Brad and I slept all.day.long. I didn't plan on my mom having him all day just because it's alot but at 3:30 we still weren't feeling well enough so I called my sister to see if she could take him for a few hours. She was very excited, as the kids love to play together, so my mom dropped him off and he stayed there until 7pm when Brad went and picked him up. All I know is that he had a fun-filled day playing with Nonnie and his cousins while daddy and I tried to recoup.

Not for the light-hearted....


Thankfully this morning we both woke up feeling better, exhausted and dehydrated but Chase wasn't sick and we had a new day EXCEPT today was the day the vet was coming. I called as soon as they opened to see when the Dr. could come...12:30pm. Which meant Brad would have to dig a whole beforehand and I would have to come home on my lunch break to lay our dog to rest. Can you say emotional rollercoaster? But we were both ready and knew it was time, she was not well at all and hadn't eaten in two days.


So out in the freezing cold, working on nothing but emotions since he hadn't eaten in a whole day, he dug a hole for our beloved dog. Thankfully we have amazing friends in our life and Jeff and stopped by to help, even bringing a grave marker, a handmade cross to go on her grave. So thoughtful and just that morning I was thinking that we didn't have anything.


Promptly at 12:30 the vet arrived, it was more of a bittersweet to see her. She explained what would happen as Sierra laid on her bed and we rubbed her head and said our goodbyes. In seconds she peacefully passed away. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done but such a burden was lifted. She was no longer suffering. We wrapped her in her blanket, grabbed her bed and toys...the stuffed kitty that has lasted years with its heading still holding on by a string, her other tug-of-war stuffed bear which only had the body left and no stuffing, and her tennis ball of course. We laid her in her grave, said our good-byes and each grabbed a shovel. After we were finished, we walked back to the house and left for work. Talk about emotionally and physically drained, how can your body produce so many tears when you are so dehydrated.

And no we never did get our family picture but that's ok, God must have made us sick together for a reason. As I look back and think about it, I wouldn't want to look at that picture and see how skinny and sad she looked. It would just bring back all those memories of her being ill. Instead I will enjoy the ones we have.

Our Florida beaches 2002.

Chase helping Sierra shed, notice the one sock. :)