They never said it would be easy

Raising a child is the most difficult thing I have ever done and it's so scary that just anyone in this world has the capability. They make you study and take driver's test before you can drive, get a boater's license before you can drive a boat, etc. etc. But there's no studying, coursework or test to take to be able to bare and raise children. Scary to think about. I say all this because I have started down a very bumpy, difficult road with Chase. I am weaning him off his bottle. Now I've come to the realization that I should have started this a few months ago but I haven't been keeping up on my "What to Expect the First Year" and totally missed that one.

I feel like a bad mom and my child is behind. Well, all I can say is that he eats plenty of solids and is very healthy. We started weaning him from his day bottle about 2 weeks ago but I am now starting the night bottle. I've always been asked "Does Chase have a lovey, blanky, or teddy?" and the answer it always "no", he didn't even like a binky. But now I must change my answer to "yes" he does have a "comfort item", it's his bottle. When he sees it he gets all excited and if you don't give it to him, he gets livid. He had an outburst in church today when Brad took it out but didn't put in the diaper bag fast enough. Chase cried the whole way out the door.

Today I didn't give him a bottle before his nap but rather in a sippy cup. Well, it didn't go over very well. Let's just say he didn't take but a 40 minute nap and was absolutely miserable pretty much all day. This made it very difficult for me even more so because it's pretty much that time of the month and emotions are crazy. But I prayed fervently for patience and didn't get angry with him because he was just going through withdrawal. Poor thing.

It was pretty much an all day battle today except for about an hour when we just played and played. When I put him down for a nap, unsuccessfully, I was trying to train him to stop turning the light switch on and off and to lay down. All I have to say is that is one VERY stubborn boy and it will take a lot of will power on my end to "break" him. I feel like I am training a wild horse sometimes.

He is too funny though. I think it was all a game to him. When I was trying to lay him down and he kept standing up, I would lay him down and say "no" when he went to get up. At some point he wouldn't get up but just roll over to the side and play with the bars and give me a big smirk. He knew exactly what he was doing...bending the rules. He wasn't getting up but he wasn't sleeping either. It's amazes me how, at such a young age, they already know how to manipulate. I tried to hold my stern face but when he would give me that BIG "aren't I so cute?" smirk I had to turn my head.

We ended up staying home from church because he was so miserable. I didn't want to bless the nursery workers with his sweet spirit. However, he probably would have been a sweetheart and had fun, except that he would have fallen asleep on the way for a whole ten minutes and not want to go to bed tonight.

After such a long, trying day, I did end up changing his bedtime routine. Poor thing is all messed up today. I put him to bed early because he didn't nap, he had his bottle before his bath, brushed his teeth, read some books, had a drink from his sippy cup, prayed, layed him in his crib, sang three songs, said "night, night" and closed the door. Sweet dreams. He was so absolutely tired he went right to sleep. I am now hoping that he stays asleep for the entire night. He hasn't been to bed at 7:45 in a long time.

We made it through the day but my emotions are shot and I am exhausted. So I blogged to release some frustration and emotions. I want to go for a run but I missed eating dinner so I am starved and once I eat my bowl of cereal I won't want to. I guess I will clean instead and do some situps later.

Good night baby boy. Mommy loves you!